Saturday, July 11, 2015

UCG Fashion Sense: "Lazy Modern Slob"



 From a reader here:
In the local UCG congregation the preferred style seemed to be women in pants with men's haircuts. Not too sexy. Much more ungodly than the way UCG women dressed was the way many of them thought, talked, and behaved. The complete lack of decency of some ignorant, rude, crude, noisy, gossipy, slanderous old slobwomen in the UCG made their lack of fashion sense seem downright unimportant by comparison.

Putting lipstick on one of those pigs would not have helped. There was also a noticeable tendency for the men's fashion in the UCG to be “lazy modern slob” with one real weirdo even claiming to be unable to wear a necktie because it bothered his neck too much. One would try to be understanding and sympathetic toward his predicament except that the demon-influenced moron always went out of his way to be a pain in the neck to other people.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

2nd Witless Witness Laura Weinland's Birthday Now Has Eschatological Significance



Ever since Ron Weinland was imprisoned for using tithe money for his own family's use, he has been plagued by countless nightmares causing him to write them down as spiritual revelations from his impotent god.

Once Weinland knew his fate was sealed and would have to serve a biblical 3 1/2 years in prison, he had to appoint his wife as his immediate successor.  She became the 2nd of the end time two witnesses, received the power to ordain, and continued to spend church money on herself, her money-laundering daughter Audra and BMW loving Jeremy.  The church is now paying to fly Laura and Audra around the world where they preach the appalling doctrines of imprisoned felon Ron Weinland.

Witless Witness Laura recently released a chart detailing the end-times according to her own nightmare and those of her imprisoned husband.

Laura is now such a masterpiece of creation that her birthday now surpasses anything that ever happened on the day Jesus was born.  Laura's birthday falls on the day Weinland is released from prison and is now a direct sign from god as to how significant she is.

Here is a clip from the chart that the Wienland's recently sent out,  The entire chart is here.